Tuesday, February 26, 2008

The Guinea Pig Whisperer And Much Much More

As some of you know, I'm a stay at home mom and I've actually had people ask me with a very perplexed look on their face "what do you do all day?" Oh, I just sit around and eat all day and stare at the walls. That just strikes me as such a rude and condescending question in and of itself and it makes it all the more rude considering the doubtful inflection in their voice. The question obviously stems from a preconceived idea that stay at home moms (sahm) must be bored and lazy. And, frankly, this sort of attitude and blatant pre-judgemental question just pisses me off; as it should. Especially coming from another woman.

Around here I take on many different roles. A more narrowed question would not only be easier to answer but more respectful - like "Do you cook dinner every single night?"
"Try breakfast, lunch and dinner, (we go out about twice a week) and I usually cook three different dinners because the girls eat two totally different things than us."
Or "do you ever get any alone time?
The answer is "very rarely; in the shower, maybe"
Or "what do you do while C is in school? Run errands? Workout?"
"I sometimes blog, have alone time play with Libby, clean or run errands." Instead of "what do you do all day?" Do you really expect me to answer that in one or two sentences? Really? Rudeness. Or maybe just plain 'ole stupidity or both.

I'm certainly no stranger to working outside of the home. I worked through high school and through college and after college. I've done my fair share of working double shifts 12 to 16 hours of waiting tables on my feet all day and night. I've taken on a ridiculous work load as a first year educator and was very successful. Like I said in a previous post; I have a strong work ethic. I bought my first car while in high school. Independence isn't an issue with me; I'm very independent. So these women who shoot the intentional or unintentional silent, glazed-over judgemental glare when I tell them I stay home can come back to reality and kiss my....What? You work in the always prestigious corporate America, you commute for an hour each way everyday for what? To pay your bills is one thing but in order to buy Jimmy Choo shoes is another. I'm by no means a judgemental person but, come on, don't judge me unless you want to be put in your place.

I'm a purist when it comes to a career and if you aren't at your dream job? You're wasting your time. Unless, of course, you have to work for income as many women do and you don't have that weird prideful attitude about working for some corporation who could, let's face it, give two shits about you. These haughty taughties who think they're the bomb and, sadly, mistake themselves as glamorous or members of the Cashmere Mafia because they work in downtown Houston or Atlanta at places like Innetech or Innetrode and participate in a much anticipated Hawaiian shirt/jeans Friday can really get a life; really. Don't get me wrong, jeans Friday is great but drop your holier than thou attitude and stop looking down your noses toward us sahm's just because you choose to be a high powered, Angela Bower-esque career woman.

As I said in the intro, I've had more than one person drop subtle hints and looks about me staying home. Make no mistake, I stay home because I choose to and I feel so lucky to be able to. This job is the toughest I've had and it's been the most rewarding, by far. And I've had many jobs. I'm not going to list everything this dream job of mine entails but a few titles come to mind... I'm mommy, the chef, chauffeur, meal planner, social activity planner, manager, financial co-chair advisor, house-hunter/real estate expert, high-end bargain grocery shopper, garden-keeper, organic farmer, launderer, organizing expert, stain remover, safety expert, maid, dog trainer, potty trainer, pron star, teacher, mediator, fecal matter inspector and expert, community philanthropist, psychologist, interior designer, landscaper, writer, keeper of control and harmony, workout guru, guinea pig whisperer, and much more. Oh, and I get to wear jeans everyday.







Saturday, February 23, 2008

While I'm sure it's not the first time it's been said...STILL HILARIOUS!

C and I looking at a picture of a pregnant me......

C: "Mommy, was I in your tummy?"

Me: "Yes."

*Long puzzling pause*

C: "Did you eat me?"

Sunday, February 10, 2008

Zen 101: Gratitude and Attitude

I went to bed last night feeling gratitude for the many blessings in my life; I mean really feeling them. And I woke up this morning with this unbelievable warm feeling still nestled in the center of my chest. It's a place I've been to before, like after a particularly moving church sermon which delivered a spiritual high that, inevitably, soon dwindled. But it's different this time.

I realize that being so cognizant of the miracles in my life brings forth the attitude that anything and everything is possible and that my dreams can, should, and will come to fruition if I just act upon them in due time. But the beauty of it all is feeling good about yourself and your life right now. It's truly believing that you will accomplish certain things in your life but you have to quash and totally extinguish any internal negative self talk that comes so easily to most of us. It's about feeling like you're already in the place that you so desire and, again, really feeling it. So to the Universe, I say, order up! Oh, and eighty-six on the cynicism or any gloomy outlooks.

Friday, February 1, 2008

Because it's my world, and well, you're just gonna live in it.

I don't believe in New Year's resolutions. I do, however, believe in birthday resolutions. Does it not make more sense considering that it's your special day or whatever? Or is it just me? Well, I make my resolutions on my birthday, nonetheless, and this year it was born out of a phrase that I heard on Oprah the other day that, I think, not only will stick with me through this coming year but be put into practice for the rest of my life.

We've all been in the following situations, some of us more often than others. And we all know that there's a fine line between being overly suggestive and being out right pushy and crossing boundaries. We've all encountered these situations with people, whether it be a friend trying to talk you into going out when you don't feel like it, a co-worker who always wants you to drive when going out for lunch, or a salesperson trying to sell you something you neither need nor want. We've all felt it and we all know that your basic force is compromised when people try to push you in a certain direction, when they know that you really don't want to do it and they continue to ignore your hints and ultimately won't take no for an answer. And when you finally give-in and say yes, you're really saying no to yourself.

So every time you say yes to someone you're saying no to yourself.

This lesson has been a long-time-coming for me and is a common theme among many women, especially young women. I'm 34 today and I'm feeling old this year for the first time. Not only do I feel older and wiser, (which is a wonderful thing) I'm feeling more empowered to go after the things that I want and deserve, big and small. For example, pursuing a writing career is a dream of mine and sustaining the little things in life are important to me as well. An example of a little, but very important thing that a lot of moms can relate to is not letting other people control or complicate daily life decisions like what time or where to have your child's birthday parties or if your child should or shouldn't know how to tie their own shoe laces at a certain age, etc...

Let me tell you, don't waste another moment listening to such nonsense, (however it may apply to your life) and don't be bullied or manipulated any longer; take the power that is yours back today. After all, These are your dreams and the only ones you'll get. These are your children and the only ones you'll get. This is your life and the only one you'll get.

This is a hard lesson for a lot of women and most rape/assault victims say they were just trying to be nice when they helped the guy carry the groceries to the car or whatever the situation was, even though their gut was screaming 'be afraid', they gave-in and said yes and ended up paying the ultimate price.

What is the root of saying yes when we don't want to, you ask? In my case, it's the fear of not being liked. That's why, in the past, I have often given in to people and said yes to various daily life situations when I really wanted and needed to say no. But no longer, my friends. I'm learning that not being liked is okay. That not having other people's approval is okay. That standing firm in your decision is okay. And that having your way and maintaining your personal boundaries is your right as a human being and as a woman whose life is her own. And I've come to realize that, as far as this realm of thinking is concerned, there are two kinds of people in this world: Those who have to be liked and those who do not. And let me tell you, people, those who don't care about what others think of them are most definitely the happier and the freer of the two.

Of course, if I were a man, this would not be an issue at all because we all know that men and women are socially conditioned in two very different ways and certain behaviors are acceptable for men to display and, at the same time, (even in this day and age) unacceptable for women to display because women are suppose to be cute, enjoyable, pleasant, obliging and very mindful not to have too big of opinions or, God forbid, people just won't like you!

I know that I will do everything in my power to make sure that my girls are not taught this socially sick and distressing lie. I want them to be happy, first and foremost, and if that means not being liked for whatever reason? So be it. Will I be viewed as a selfish bitch in my quest for freedom to do what I want for my own happiness' sake? Maybe to some men and maybe even some short-sighted, imprudent women who have been brainwashed to fit nicely into the social fabric of non-assertive, miserable and disenfranchised women. Am I embracing the power that is my life? Yes. Am I passionate about this? Yes. Why? Well, I don't know about you, but I'm gonna get mines.

Because... that's just how I roll.