My three year old little munchkin, C, is so incredibly bossy that I told my husband yesterday that we need to have yet another kid just so she can direct her overwhelming bossy energy at someone other than us. (1) Well, he wasn't too keen on the idea considering that we have a seven week old. I guess our dogs will keep her busy doing as she commands for now; Although, they may not live up to her ever so demanding high standards.
"Dance Chuy ! Dance!"
She says in her tiny little munchkin voice to our eight pound chihuahua who thinks he's a cat.
"I'm sure Chuy would dance if he knew how to, Chloe, but doggies don't understand how to dance." I try to explain. (2)
"Mommy, tell Chuy to dance." she persists.
She says it with a certainty that I can somehow make this happen, like the time a thunderstorm was rolling our way as we were coming home from our fav Mexican restaurant.(3) As we pulled into our neighborhood, the sky lit up with a lightening bolt and then another. Chloe squealed with delight and then she waited for about a nanosecond and said
"D0 it again mommy!"
My heart melted; she wanted mommy to make the sky light up with lightening bolts. I, of course, reluctantly explained that mommy can't control the weather. (4) Why reluctantly you ask? Well, as a parent ...no...... as a mommy I wish I could stay that end-all be-all that C saw through her eyes at that moment and control her world forever. But as a parent I knew that I couldn't take credit for the miraculous light show in the sky. Besides, I couldn't bare to send her off to kindergarten someday telling her classmates and teachers that mommy makes the sky light-up. What would the other parents think? Uni bomber? Or even worse, that I lied to my child. Oh well, I've come leaps and bounds from controlling the lightening bolts, let me tell you. Now I don't even have control of the living room - toys everywhere- much less the heavens. Captain of the control boat has officially declared mutiny! Full on mutiny, I tell you! (5)
Just last weekend my husband and I overheard Chloe's conversation with our 6 year old little neighbor boy, Chris.(6) She was out on our deck eating the proverbial peanut butta jelly sandwich and talking this poor kid to death! He couldn't get a word in as C was telling him to go get his dog and then she had to go get her dogs. Then she pointed out to him that she has not one but two dogs. She also pointed out so eloquently that
"Your dog can't talk!"
as if to imply somehow that her dogs can talk. Aah, already the master at maintaining a little bit of mystery with the fellas. You go! Okay, I'm back now.... where were we? Oh yeah, then little miss bossy pants demands to know where Chris's daddy is.
She says,
"Where's you daddy? Is he in your house?"
Um, this must have been a rhetorical question because without any time for Chris to respond, C yells,
"Daddy come out here!" to her own daddy.
And as my husband kindly follows her demands almost before he could put one foot down on the deck C looks at Chris and says,
"Chris, say hi to daddy!"
Well, my husband really liked this. He plans to use this phrase again in about eleven/twelve years - well probably, in his mind, he thinks he can keep this little phrase in his back pocket for the next..say.. fifteen to twenty years. (Sorry honey, C will probably be dating before she's twenty something.) But he plans to say it in a Dirty Hairy tone while clutching a shot gun.
Little miss bossy pants is about to wake up from her nap and start the bossing so I'd better get her juice cup ready, if not, I have a sneaking suspicion that it will be the plank for me!
1.) Okay, I know, I know that's NO good reason to bring another child into the world.
2.) Excluding those creepy animals I've seen on America's Funniest Home Videos which has, so cleverly, been changed to AFV.
3.) Yeah, this was back when Chloe actually ate food.
4.) Jeez, I wish I could control the weather come January in the Northeast!
5.) For those of you who don't know, the Captain I'm referring to used to be me, well, no I'd say that I was co-captain (have to be pc) my hubby, of course, was captain, but no longer, my friends!
6.) Okay so we were eavesdropping. Give us a break, we weren't invading the poor little boy's privacy because it was more like a soliloquy anyway!
